Going from being stuck to living the adventure of a life-time
Last year my life was good but it wasn’t great
I didn’t like where I lived. My diet was terrible but improving. I didn’t spend quality time with my family and I felt bored with life. I also felt a lack of connection with life – with people and with nature itself.
Now…I’m 6 months into an around the world sailing adventure on my own 56’ yacht
Now my life is amazing and getting better all the time. I love my home (a boat). My diet is natural, fresh and amazingly tasty – you can’t get any more natural than catching and cooking your own fish! I spend quality time every day with my family. I’m on one massive adventure and I truly feel connected with all of life.
From stuck-ness to aliveness – how did I do it?
While I wrote the book, ‘How Life Really Works,’ the concepts contained where quite difficult for me to really get my head around. Intellectually, I understood the alternative perspective on how life really works – that your beliefs create your reality – but still found it difficult to put to practice.
Often, when we look back we can see that we were making progress but at the time it feels as if our efforts to change are futile.
Needless to say, I kept forcing myself to spend time watching my thoughts
Rather than blame anyone or anything for my current reality I kept asking myself (when I remembered to do so!) “what are the beliefs I have that are creating the situation I’m in?”
Anything with significance in my life underwent contemplation. Whether it was a good or bad situation, I’d ask myself, ‘what belief would I have to have for that to happen to me?’
If someone cut me off while driving I’d ask the question
When something amazing happened in my life, I’d also ask, ‘What belief or beliefs do I have that created this to show up in my life?’
Last year my life film was playing out stuck-ness, boredom, frustration, stress and lack of clarity and flow. So…I was in the process of looking at my beliefs and subsequent feelings, thoughts, expectations, images and memories.
I’d ask myself, ‘What is going on in my inner world to create my outer reality?’
Once I started to pay attention to my inner world, my ground started to shake
I’d see a thought or belief that didn’t make sense. I’d then tell myself, ‘well…that’s not needed anymore.’
Every few days I’d find myself in a situation and think, ‘wow – I would have never done this a few months ago,’ or ‘wow – I never created this kind of reality before!’
So…in addition to watching my thoughts and relating them to my reality, I worked on my films (see full explanation in my book). I’d write down all the beliefs, thoughts, feelings, memories, expectations and visuals that surrounded a particular reality.
In the case of me feeling ‘stuck,’ I wrote down how I thought my life would never change, how I felt blah, envisioned doing the same thing over and over, expecting tomorrow to be like today and recalling memories of being depressed. I’d easily fill a whole sheet of paper with how I felt – I made it my job to examine exactly what was going on inside of me to create my stuck-ness.
Unless you write this stuff down your mind won’t see it all – it won’t see the enormity of it all…you won’t realize how much crap you’re spinning out
And then, I’d create another film, which was not only easy, but it made me feel amazing. I’d write down how I thought my life will change quickly, how I felt energized, envisioned doing different things every day, expecting each day to bring new adventure and recalled memories of my most exhilarating experiences (diving 30 meters to a shipwreck, going on a Harley tour, moving from America to England…)
Looking back, I now realize that I didn’t need to know exactly what I wanted to change to
I just needed to feel how I wanted to feel and the universe would provide me with people, events, situations that create those feelings.
I knew that I wanted more adventure. I knew that I wanted to create a career that I truly enjoyed. I knew that I wanted to spend time with my family…I knew, in loose terms what I wanted to change but I had troubles visualizing what that change would look like.
Never in a million years did I think the outcome of my inner contemplation and filmmaking would create a situation where I own a 56’ yacht and sail around the world and have no debt! Never did I speculate that I’d become a writer and l had no idea that I’d create a situation where I’m with my family full time! I never visualized this kind of result.
In my wildest imagination I couldn’t have come up with something so perfect
And I think this is where many people miss the point. All you need to do is to feel how you want to feel. The universe will then deliver the props on your stage to allow you to feel those feelings.
If visualizing a certain outcome helps you to feel the way you want to feel, then that’s great. Go with it. If however, you don’t know the external circumstances that will allow you to feel how you want to feel, don’t worry about it – the universe will sort it out for you.
I know many of the self-help guru’s tell you to visualize living your dream life but often it’s hard to know what a dream life really is. I had no idea that my dream life was sailing around the world. Heck, I get seasick…further; I didn’t think I could ever afford the yacht we have. But I have to hand it to the universe; I seriously couldn’t imagine a life any better than the one I’m currently living.
As a recap, I went from being stuck to being on an adventure of a lifetime by doing the following:
- Watching my thoughts
- Asking myself what would I have to believe for my reality to be the way it is
- Writing down the beliefs, thoughts, feelings, visuals, expectations and memories (my film) that created the reality I’m living now
- Create another film inserting the opposite or more positive alternative to the current film
- Whenever I noticed I was thinking/feeling from the original film, I’d say ‘no, switch my thoughts,’ and I’d remind myself how I want to feel instead. I’d then get myself into a positive feeling state. In other words, I’d pretend the new film was real
I kept doing that over and over
Some days I’d notice miraculous results but many days I’d question myself and think I’m nuts. I wobbled quite a bit but overall I kept working on myself. I kept getting better and better at watching my thoughts and stopping myself from pursuing a train of thought that was destructive.
Even though my reality wasn’t reflecting where I wanted to be, I kept pretending that I felt the way I wanted to feel when my reality changed. Now, I didn’t do this non-stop…I am human! I did it whenever I could catch myself.
So…after a lot of film writing, I kept feeling what my new life felt like
My new life would be full of adventure, I’d eat healthy nutritious foods, I’d spend time with my family and I’d be able to make deep connections with old and new friends. I’d really feel alive.
Where am I now?
Well…right now I’m in Greece enjoying a lovely cappuccino looking out and the Ionian Sea wondering what new experiences will be brought my way today. My 56’ yacht is moored outside where my husband and daughter are waiting for me to go for an exploration.
Over the course of one year I’ve given up everything that weighed me down and can now say that I truly am on an adventure of a lifetime. We sold all our possessions, bought a sailboat and are 6 months into our world circumnavigation journey. Talk about adventure or what!
But it’s very important to understand this key point: when I set out to change my life I had no idea or intention of sailing around the world. Yes, it’s something that I had always wanted to do (if I won the lottery), but I didn’t visualize or speculate that a sailing adventure would be the answer. Heck, I didn’t think we could ever afford to do this kind of thing.
I simply started to feel the way I wanted to feel and things transpired. In a way, my life is totally out of my hands. I have no idea what will happen tomorrow or next week.
I have no idea where I’ll be or who I’ll be with…and that’s the cool part of all this
You don’t have to rack your brains thinking about what you want. You need to pretend how you want to feel so that it knocks the energy of the lesser feelings out. Once you do that, the universe starts to move you into situations where you feel more and more of what you want.
How life really works is absolutely amazing if you ‘get it’ but, for me, it’s hard work. I keep having to remind myself how to create change. I often forget and find myself having to re-read my own book.
When I do remind myself, however, change seems to happen quicker and quicker!
One last note – don’t get down on yourself when you don’t see change reflected quickly. It took several months for the universe to convince me that the right choice was to sell up and sail around the world. And when we did decide to give it a go it scared the crap out of me! You can read about my journey on the http://www.SailingBritican.com website.
And after the decision, it took about 5 to 6 months for the new reality to fully take place. I worried quite a lot during the process of the transition but I didn’t need to.
Does this make sense? Any questions?