Frustration Relieving Techniques
Frustrations come in all forms – large and small. At one point in my life I was frustrated with life in general. Fortunately, I’m a much more relaxed and peaceful person. However, my peacefulness often gets pushed to the side when I participate in non-routine based things.
For example, at the end of the year my husband and I decided to do an online course. When we first spoke of the idea I felt somewhat uncomfortable. Part of me really wanted to do it and another part of me felt as if it was hubby’s cup of tea and I was just going along for the ride. One thing led to another and we both enrolled in the course.
Prior to starting, I thought about my past successes at school/university – getting good grades and understanding most concepts. I also felt I had a strong knowledge of the subject matter so my attitude was that I’ll breeze through the course.
Boy, was I was wrong. By module three out of twelve I felt as if I was sinking.
And that’s where the frustration started to kick in…and it was time to find frustration relieving techniques
I started to blame the course designers saying that it wasn’t written very well. I made a big song and dance about how impractical the quiz questions were. I internally thought, ‘I don’t even want to take this course!’
And then I started to have memories about courses that I took in the past and failed. When I was 19 I almost failed Algebra and later on in life I took an online psychology course and wasn’t pleased with my results. As I write this, I now note to myself that I blamed the teachers in both courses for not teaching good enough. (I’m laughing to myself as I write! If you’ve already read my book, you’ll see the irony in all this.)
Anyway, two days ago I yelled to my husband in a huff, ‘I’m not that interested in this stuff. And I don’t think the course is good at all! I’m going to go get a book, study the book and then just past the exam for the sake of passing. Bahhhhhhh!’
Of course, with my tenacious manner I was back working on the course in minutes, however my frustration increased more and more. I found spelling errors in the course and thought, ‘See – these teachers can’t even spell!’ My mind was focused on one thing and that one thing was to prove that it’s not me that can’t learn – it’s the teachers and the stupid course!
As the above was happening I never noticed it. I didn’t stop myself and say, ‘Kim – look at what your thoughts are causing you to focus on?’ Goes to show you that even if you write a book about how to change beliefs/thoughts it doesn’t safeguard you from getting sucked into disempowering thoughts yourself!
HOWEVER…Something happened that caused me to wake-up and notice that it was my thoughts that were causing the frustration I was feeling – not anything else!
I was at the coffee shop brainstorming a new book that I want to write. One of the chapters will be about getting yourself to record your thoughts. For some reason, I decided to try it out myself and write down what I was thinking in a free flow manner. This is what came out:
“This tea is warm. Warms my stomach. Wish my feet were warm! I wonder what I’ll eat at lunch today – surely it will be good. I hope I’m not expected to pay – No, I won’t be. I was invited and didn’t pick the spot. Hope the meeting goes well. Of course it will. Last time was great fun. I wonder if we’ll drink wine? If I drink wine I could get tired on the way home. And I really need to do my Day Skippers course. Ahhhhh that course is driving me nuts. I’ll never get it. It’s too involved and I don’t see myself using it so I’ll lose it. What’s the point – I did it for Simon. I’m not even interested…”
Do you see what came out of that? I didn’t even realise that I felt those things? In hindsight I can look back and see the frustration, blame and progressively disempowering stuff in my mind/body but until I did my free-flow writing exercise I didn’t realize how it was impacting my life in a not-so-good way.
The crazy thing is that I didn’t set out to use frustration relieving techniques to solve a problem…I actually didn’t realize the problem existed.
Once I became conscious of my thoughts, I decided it was time to change them. I then took out a piece of paper and wrote down all my thoughts, fears, frustrations about the course on left side of a folded piece of paper and then wrote the opposite on the other side.
A few entries looked like this:
- ‘The sailing course is so frustrating and annoying’ was changed to, ‘The sailing course is so interesting and enlightening’
- ‘I hate every section of this course, I feel like I’m rushing and I’m struggling to really learn?’ was changed to ‘I’m enjoying every section, taking my time and really enjoying my ability to learn.’
- ‘I’m uptight and annoyed about my Day Skippers course’ was changed to ‘I’m relaxed and happy about my Day Skippers course.’
I ripped up the side of the page that held my disempowering beliefs and put the side with the empowering beliefs in a safe place. Something else then caught my attention and my thoughts were off and running in another direction.
The next day I woke up and decided to work on my course. At first, I felt a tingle of frustration come up but I noticed it. I saw and felt it and looked right at it and thought, ‘no – I don’t want to feel that way anymore. I’m enjoying my course.’
After pulling out my maps, plotter and firing up my IPad with the course material I got to work. To my amazement, the information went in easily, I achieved 100% on my quizzes and I actually enjoyed what I was learning. There was a point where I could have become frustrated but I managed the situation more consciously and just took my time.
I didn’t spend more than 15 minutes looking at and changing my thoughts…and the result were excellent. The frustration was gone. There was no longer any need to blame the course creators or question my ability to learn. I changed my beliefs and thoughts and my reality changed for the better.
So – here are some suggestions for you:
- Try writing your thoughts on paper and seeing where they go. Don’t put any pressure on yourself to find problems…just write and see what comes up.
- If something does come up, once you consciously see it you will have more power to change it.
- Give your mind new film that empowers you rather than disempowering you. In my case, I simply wrote down my frustrations and then re-wrote the opposite of them.
Give this frustration relieving technique a go and let me know how it works for you.
Kim Brown helps people to find their life’s purpose and exponentially increase their fulfillment. To get started read Kim’s book, ‘How Life Really Works: The Answer to Finding your Purpose & Personal Fulfillment’