How to look in the mirror, say ‘I love you’ to yourself and mean it!
I’m often amazed at the amount of people that tell me, ‘I know I need to look in the mirror and tell myself ‘I love me’ but I just can’t do it.’ So how to look in the mirror and say ‘I love you,’ doesn’t come easy to most of us.
When I first tried it I felt silly. I found it difficult to look in my eyes. The whole process freaked me out a bit. I started off by thinking it (not speaking it) – ‘I love you Kim,’ and eventually whispered the words out.
Saying ‘I love you,’ to yourself for a month?
A friend suggested that I say ‘I love you,’ to myself for 28 days so I gave it a go. I put a little post-it note on the bathroom mirror to remind myself every morning. It said, ‘KIM – Tell yourself you love yourself!’
The post-it worked well as a reminder but boy was it embarrassing when friends used the bathroom and I forget to take it down. Oh-well. I’m an American living in England – the English expect us Americans to be a bit wacky.
Anyhoooo, if you’ve never heard of this concept before, it’s worth understanding how these three little words can help you out.
The whole exercise of telling yourself, ‘I love you,’ has been designed to get you to:
- Realize that you have a relationship with yourself (even if you don’t currently acknowledge it). When you look in the mirror and talk to yourself you realise that someone is doing the taking (we’ll call that ‘You’) and someone is doing the listening (we’ll call that ‘YOU’). This demonstrates that you’re a doer, thinker, actor AND there’s another part of you that is an observer/watcher.
- Determine how you feel about yourself – can you easily look in your eyes and say, ‘I love you’? If not, it’s a good indication that your relationship with yourself needs a bit of work. Okay – let’s not kid ourselves…you need a lot of work. But the work is well worth the time and effort. Once you start to care about yourself you’ll be headed down a path of much more fulfilment. If you don’t care about you then no one else is going to. The world will treat you in the same manner that you treat yourself.
- Start contemplating why you may not love yourself. Contemplation is such a great thing! When I first started on my path to getting to know myself better I felt selfish for taking time to think about me. I grew up thinking the world didn’t revolve around me – how wrong was I?! The world does revolve around me – so much so that what I believe, think and feel creates my world. The same is true for you.
- Deepen the relationship you have with yourself and increase your life fulfilment level. If you start off feeling awkward about loving yourself and then open to the idea it’s an amazing reality changer. Seriously – the circumstances, events and people in your life will all change for the better. Once you realise that you have the ability to love yourself unconditionally the world will start to treat you different. (Read my blog post titled, Change The Way You’re Treated for more information).
- See through the distractions, unveil the truth and connect with what is truly real – LOVE. That’s the stuff that makes us real. Love truly makes the world go around so if you’re not loving yourself your world won’t be as amazing as it could be.
So, how do you go about loving yourself?
And let me point out here that I’m not talking about an egotistical love. I’m not talking about pretending to love yourself or falsely creating bravado. People that ‘love themselves’ in that sense are actually disconnected more than most.
The love I’m talking about is simple, pure and electric. If you’re a parent, it’s the love you feel the second you become a mom or dad. It’s an outpouring of the highest caliber of energy from your heart that doesn’t for one second require reciprocation.
Getting back to the exercise of how to look in the mirror and say ‘I love you,’ to yourself…
It was my mother who brought it up last week. She explained that she tried often to really feel love for herself when she said, ‘I love you,’ but she just wasn’t feeling it.
Then one day she decided to think of someone she loved very much – she thought of me/my brother and filled herself up with beautiful love feelings. She then looked up into the mirror and took those feelings and redirect them straight back at herself.
Mom said it was a massive breakthrough for her. She not only conjured up love energy but she, for the first time, sent it to herself. Mom said that it was a huge turning point for her. Since giving and feeling the love, she’s felt lighter, more at home in her body, excited about her life and overall much more fulfilled.
I told mom to write about it, but she said, ‘no – you do it!’ She thought that it might just help others to understand how to give and feel the amazing power that we all hold within our hearts and bodies. It’s so cool. Thank you mom 🙂
Kim Brown helps people to find their life’s purpose and exponentially increase their fulfillment. To get started read Kim’s book, ‘How Life Really Works: The Answer to Finding your Purpose & Personal Fulfillment’