Instead of blaming people for your life results ask, ‘why have I created this situation’?
An example on how we create our reality – How have I created my house sale to get delayed over and over again?
Here’s a perfect example of how my outer reality has been created by my internal state. When I say that every situation, event , circumstance, person in your life is created internally, by you first, and then shows up externally…I mean everything. You create everything. The good, the bad and everything in-between. You create bottlenecks and you create states of flow. You create people to come into your life and people to go.
It can be difficult to grasp how life really works but if we keep talking about it and bringing up examples, we’ll get better at understanding it.
We often want to blame others for the reason our life is the way it is, but doing so is a total waste of time. Instead of blaming people, there’s another way…
Let me tell you what’s been going on in my life as I recently fell into the blame game trap until I finally woke-up and reminded myself of the contents of my own book. (Yes – I am human and yes, at times I find it hard to keep in mind how life really works!)
The blame game – here’s how I fell into it!
Here’s a very quick background. Almost two years ago I left my company and managed to get a nice little payout that would afford me time to figure out what I wanted to do next. I’ve tried a few things, wrote the book (How Life Really Works), started another company and have been trying to flow more with life.
It all started with a yearning for something new…
That being said, I’ve had this massive yearning to do something totally different. To break the shekels of my ‘normal’ life and do something ‘crazy’. Some of my ideas have been to move to Africa and help the community (in whatever way I could), to move to Fiji and become a fisherwoman or farmer OR buy a sailboat and sail around the world.
This yearning has been with me for as long as I can remember. Especially the boat idea. I love the thought of being free on the sea and bringing my home with me wherever I go. I also love the simplicity to it all. After owning a finance company in London I’ve lived the life of a capitalist. In fact, I could have played a part in any Ayan Rand book… I don’t want to subscribe to that way of living any more. It’s cold, lonely and no longer my cup of tea.
That being said, a few months ago we put our house up for sale and decided to move to the South coast so we could be closer to our 35′ Moody sailboat. That way we could sail more. I suppose that’s a half-way step to setting sail around the world? Yes?
But the solution to my yearning wasn’t working – no house sale, no future house…
Well…we’ve looked at houses all over the place – we’ve spent weeks searching out areas, looking at all sorts of options. Nothing seemed to work so we decided we’ll sell our house and rent somewhere. The decision to do so did’t feel that great but heck, we needed to do something. Our impending sale was suppose to happen at any time.
Throughout our house search our house sale has been postponed four times. It’s a somewhat complicated story, but the buyers of our house need to get planning approval before they’ll agree to purchase our house. The planning system hasn’t been going in our favour. We have a neighbour that has made it her life mission to get as many complaints about the planning application as possible.
Then I decided it was the planning official that must be blamed!
Last weekend I found myself crying and yelling at the planning official that the whole thing isn’t fair. The system is corrupt, she is corrupt and on and on. I broke into pieces being so fed up with living in limbo. Are we going to sell or not? If we do sell, where the heck are we going to move? Do we really need to sell? We could live anywhere in the world right now – should we even move to the South coast? This is the rest of our lives we’re playing with here… Arrrrrggghhhhhhh
Woah there Kim! We create everything…
Once the smoke in my head cleared, I finally connected with my deeper self – perhaps my soul and asked, ‘why am I creating this situation?’ It’s such a difficult thing to do. To really take responsibility for our life creations.
I started to look and feel my body while watching my thoughts. I realised that I wasn’t sure about selling the house as I wasn’t sure about the move. I knew 100% I wanted to move or do something but I had no idea what I wanted to do.
If the move wasn’t suppose to happen, we wouldn’t have a buyer in the first place so I felt the move is right. Here we have a buyer who’s offered to pay almost full asking price yet the sale keeps getting delayed. Why would that happen?
So why was I stalling the manifestation/magnetization process?
I came to the realization the the sale wasn’t happening because I wasn’t satisfied with our future plans. I wasn’t satisfied with the idea of moving to the South coast. The idea was okay but it wasn’t lighting my soul up – that’s for sure. I’m fond of the Solent (that’s where our boat is now) but it isn’t a particularly beautiful place. It’s the busiest cruising area in the world and there’s quite a bit of naval and industry around. It’s so busy…Furthermore, England is not a warm place and I get cold very easily.
My frustration made me question myself. ‘Kim – what the heck? What do you really want?’ And then the same old thing came flashing in to my head. I heard myself say, ‘I just want to be on the boat with my hubby and daughter sailing around the world – preferably somewhere with a mild temperature.’ An image of the Caribbean came to mind.
I had to either poop or get off the pot!
I then realized that this ‘message/yearning’ is going to be with me until I die. I either need to do something about it or suffer for the rest of my life! I spoke to my husband explaining that I don’t want to live the way we’ve been living anymore…meaning that I don’t want to live with all this crap processed food, commercialism, miserable people complaining about their miserable lives and doing nothing about it. I don’t want to be so exhausted that by 8pm I settle in front of the TV for three hours before I drift off to sleep. I don’t want to be a consultant telling people how to make their riches – they all think their life will get better when they make money and I know this journey is futile! (I’ll stop there on that line of thought). My point is that I’ve had a yearning for a long time and I’m frustrated with my current lifestyle.
But I’m scared to get off the pot – it’s so comfortable
I want to live in a world I create and since I create my world, what’s stopping me? Well…that’s easy to pinpoint. FEAR. I’m scared to death to sell my house, get a big enough boat and sail into the sunset. I’m scared of bad weather, I’m scared of falling off the boat and floating to my death, I’m scared it’s not the best thing for my daughter (socially)…In fact, I suffer sea sickness. What the heck! It’s nuts…I’m crazy. I have a dream that doesn’t make sense and scares the crap out of me.
But finally the time has come where my frustration has peaked. I’m ready to take a leap into the fear. I’d rather leap into the fear…instead of being 80 years old wishing I took a chance.
I create my reality based on my beliefs so let’s put this into action…let’s really create the dream!
I’m so scared. Yet I’m also excited. I have so many ‘what if’s’ but the ‘what if I don’t do it screams the loudest now’. Everything in my ‘normal’ life isn’t working anymore…
So…during my last discussion with the planning officer she was going to refuse the application. We need to contact her on the middle to end of this week to see what happens.
Now that I’ve changed my internal state and have discovered what I really want to do (even thought it’s scares me), I’m wondering if the house will sell? There’s no longer a conflict with my ‘film’ (mentioned in my book). I believe I can have what I want. I know I deserve it just as much as everyone else does.
So, we’re selling up and sailing around the world (yikes!)
The decision has been made. My family and I are going to get a larger boat and sail around the world. Yes – we have several serious complications. I have a father-in-law to sort out (find him a place to live and make plans for him to join us when we’re stationary). I’m not sure how we’re going to afford this, but I have a mortgage facility I can borrow against if we don’t sell. I have stuff to get rid of or store – a 6 bedroom house full of stuff.
And then there’s my friends…how can I leave them? Well, it’s not going to be forever. Heck, it might just last for 3 months? Or perhaps 3 years. I don’t know. But I feel deep down that by me doing this perhaps I’ll give them the courage to do something similar. Furthermore, my friends will always be welcome to join me on the boat wherever in the world we find ourselves. Life is so precious and we can do/create whatever we want – why create a life of mediocrity?
Time, I suppose, for me to really practice what I preach. God – please look after me! I’m so scared…and so excited…and so scared. (Stay tuned to see what happens!)