Is positive thinking not providing you with the results you want?
Knowledge is only helpful when you can use it
Once you conceptually understand how your thoughts create your reality you’ve made a massive leap in knowledge.
This knowledge, however, is often difficult to know what to do with. In fact, knowing that you create your reality can cause quite a few adverse effects. When I altered my perception from thinking life happened to me TO life is created by me, I felt numb for quite a while – perhaps months.
Things that use to be important to me became meaningless and many of my life goals didn’t seem to matter anymore. I suppose I felt disillusioned for quite some time.
Having knowledge that can’t be applied can create anger
After feeling numb for a while, I started to think, ‘what the freak? All this time I’ve been creating my life? Why did I have to suffer for so long?’
I knew I was creating my less than fulfilling reality but I didn’t know how to use my knowledge to change it. I became quite angry and wondered, ‘what’s the point?’ It’s as if I the answer to everything was almost within my reach but not quite. In other words, my life was crap…I knew I was creating it to be crap…I knew I had the power/ability to change it but I didn’t know how to change it.
Positive thinking can be a solution, but it can also backfire – big time!
A few actions, however, often caused my life to lift for a while. I’d experience periods of flow, good news, exciting opportunities and fun. Life seemed to open up and allow me to experience ease, purpose and abundance.
During the times of flow I was always reading or absorbing some sort of positive thinking book or spiritual information. I’d be reading about the law of attraction, how thoughts create things, and quantum science information about how we’re all connected. While reading, I’d feel on top of the world. Additionally, I’d faithfully recite my affirmations: “I am healthy. I am happy. I am successful. I am safe and secure. I am worthy of abundance…” HOWEVER once I put the book down or forgot to force positive notions into my mind/body I went back into being normal Kim having her normal crap life.
Positive thinking can cause periods of flowing versus not-flowing
Okay, okay…crap life is too harsh. The way I should differentiate between my states of being could be labelled “flowing” versus “not-flowing”. When I was flowing, life was beautiful, abundant and amazing. When I was not-flowing, life was stagnate, frustrating, dark, and pointless. One week a sailing trip would help me to feel free, limitless and grateful yet another week a trip out on the boat felt boring, annoying and labored. Same with work – one week everything would happen easily whereas the next I felt as if I was banging my head against a wall.
Forced positive thinking won’t work in the long run
Due to my ups and downs, flow and not-flow, I came to the conclusion that I had to think positively all the time. And to do that, I had to constantly be reading my feel good woooo woooo books – either self-help or spiritual based stuff (Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Neal Donald Welsh, etc.) And when I wasn’t reading I had to do hypnosis MP3’s to force confidence, success, self-worth and so forth into my mind/body.
I had to have 5 to 10 positive books lined up so I never ran out (Amazon loves me), stick post-it notes around the house (“You are abundant”, “money comes to you easily”, “you love life”), avoid anyone that was negative, stop watching the news (negative), and spend huge amounts of energy watching my thoughts for something bad to appear.
Thinking a negative thought became a big ‘no-no’. In fact, I’d feel guilty if I noticed that I had one. In my head, I’d tell myself ‘Kim – you create your reality by what you think/feel so you must keep thinking/feeling good stuff to get good stuff. Don’t let any bad things go through your head.’
Thinking positive all the time expends way too much energy and basically, it’s impossible and ultimately destructive!
If you instruct your mind to push away negative thoughts you’re pushing them out of site, but not out of mind/body. Those negative thoughts, feelings, visualizations, expectations, beliefs, memories are still there, you’ve just decided not to look at them. And after you push those thoughts/memories/feelings away enough times, they seem to hide away.
Unfortunately, when you let your positive thinking guard down, something seeps in. Something, someone or some event happens to pop your ‘live is amazing’ bubble. And since all the negative thoughts have been pushed out of sight many flood back in and BAM, you’re back to a state of non-flow.
Your thoughts create a vibrational signature – using positive thinking only changes it temporarily
So…you’re going about your normal daily life and you’re okay. Things aren’t great but they’re not bad either. Let’s say your vibrating at X or giving off X energy. You then read a positive self-help/ spiritual book or attend an Tony Robins (self-help guru) seminar and soon vibrate at Y. While vibrating at Y things seem to flow better. You feel good, you have more mojo and life is better. You attract better things into your life.
You’ve changed your vibration. The only issue is that your old vibration is still there and that’s way more dominate. Sooner or later, you X vibration mind/body will be back and you’ll be back to your normal life.
Does this make sense?
If forcing positive thinking into your mind/body doesn’t work, what does?
Good question. The answer is to change your X vibration rather than try to force another vibration in (Y). To change the way that you vibrate (or the signature that you send out to the world), you need to LOOK AT your thoughts, memories, feelings, expectations, visualizations and beliefs and consciously decide to change them.
This means that your thoughts need conscious attention – whether they’re positive or negative. And if they’re negative, it’s time to stop pushing them away or hiding them. After doing so for so long, it’s hard to even recognize that you push bad stuff away, but I assure you – you do!
Those thoughts that are negative have something to tell you. Imagine you’re a coat rack and every negative thought, etc. is a coat. They weigh you down and even if you can’t see the coats at the bottom, or underneath, they’re still there.
Using free writing to watch your thoughts
Sit back and watch your thoughts right now. Write them down. Doesn’t matter what comes out. Just write down what is getting highlighted in your mind. Start off with how you feel or what you’re doing. Free flow – don’t worry about spelling, grammar or punctuation. Just write down what’s in your mind/body and keep letting it flow. Don’t try and make anything up, just write. And while you’re writing if anything comes up, write your way out of it. If you notice something that is negative or has a bad feel to it, look at it, write down what you think it is telling you and then ask it to be removed from your life – from your coat hook.
A free-flow writing example
For example, here’s what’s in my mind/body now: I’m tired. It’s only 3pm and I’m tired. Why am I always so tired? My jeans feel too tight. I’m uncomfortable. Why? Why do I feel so blah? I feel a burning in my chest. Alex (high-school boyfriend) just came into my mind. I see him smiling at me as if he “made it” happy in life and he’s got this knowing that I’m not happy. Where did that come from? I loved him so much. I thought we’d be married and live happily forever after. Although I broke up with him, I think he broke my heart…at least that’s how I feel. We had so much fun together. We were two peas in the same pod. I want to let this image go – this image (visual) of Alex smiling at me. I want to send him love and let him go. I thank him for being such a great part of my life and release him from my vibration.
Wow – that’s interesting. I haven’t consciously thought of Alex for years. Why did he just pop into my mind then? Does he often make an appearance in my thoughts but I don’t look at that thought? Actually, it was a visual or perhaps you could even call it a symbol. I clearly saw his face and got a feeling from it. I really am flabbergasted about that example I just created for you. I didn’t even know that I felt like he broke my heart. Very interesting. Going forward, I’m confident I won’t see his face again or if I do, it won’t have that negative attachment to it. Cool – I just got rid of a coat of my coat rack!
But going through all my coats would take forever – it’s hopeless
Yeah – you’re probably like me (and everyone else) and have quite a few coats. And looking at them isn’t easy. We’re so accustomed to pushing them out of site too! The great thing is this – looking at your negative images, thoughts, memories, etc. gets easier the more you do it. And the more you do it, the quicker the negativity goes away…the lighter the coat rack becomes. It doesn’t take forever and it’s not hopeless.
Positive thinking alone will only enable you to bounce from your normal state of being to higher state and then back down. By changing your core vibration, or your core thought/beliefs/memories/etc. blueprint, by removing some coats, you’ll glide higher and stay higher. You’ll increase your fulfillment and by doing so, you’ll make it easier to keep increasing it.
Removing coats becomes easier and easier
Furthermore, every time you remove a coat you’ll feel lighter and more energized. It’s wonderful to spot something that’s been holding or blocking you and then let it go. And I’ve had experiences of removing one coat to find that several others fell off with it.
As a little side note, looking at negative memories/thoughts/etc. is not about ruminating, getting upset or creating a way to ruin your day. Rather than hide these toxic feelings away, I’m asking you to look at them – don’t become them. Just look with the aim of bringing them fully into your consciousness and then asking them to be removed. Some coats may be too big right now to tackle – that’s okay. Find something smaller. Give free-flow writing a go and see what comes out!
Kim Brown helps people to find their life’s purpose and exponentially increase their fulfillment. To get started read Kim’s book, ‘How Life Really Works: The Answer to Finding your Purpose & Personal Fulfillment’