Who wants to live in fear if they don’t have to? Lets expect the best and get the best! Here’s how:
Do you ever fear the worst but the best happens instead?
What’s actually going on when that happens? And is there a way to expect the best AND have the best happen? Who wants to live in fear if they don’t have to?
A very kind reader wrote the following to me recently:
How do you explain when something totally unexpected happens? This could be something either good or bad. As a small example, I worried about failing so many tests when I was a child in school, and often was convinced I had failed – but I frequently got A’s.
Why would I do so well when I was so often expecting to fail?
I recall once an assignment I thought I had done particularly badly (it involved art, and I always expected to be criticized if there was no clear right or wrong answer) and the teacher had brought out various students’ work to criticize them and say how little effort they’d put in (it was like that in the 70s) and then she got to mine, and I literally cringed waiting for a blow – but instead she praised the detail and work that had gone into it. So, why do good things happen when you are expecting the worst, or bad things when you are expecting the best?
When I received her email I knew exactly what she was talking about. Throughout my life I felt as if I whole-heartedly believed one thing yet over and over my beliefs failed to materialize into reality.
Let me just list some of my personal examples:
- I believed I was ugly and didn’t think any guy would want to date me yet I was always asked out on dates. Each time I was extremely surprised.
- I always thought my school essays weren’t good enough yet I almost always got A’s in English. Every time I got my paper back I was shocked.
- When going out with my husbands’ friends I’d always come home and think, ‘they don’t like me,’ yet that just wasn’t the case. Many of his friends actually looked up to me.
- At job interviews I’d think that I blew it yet I 95% of the time I was offered the job.
- Even now whenever someone emails me or writes a glowing review about my book I initially think, ‘OMG – someone read my book…that’s amazing!’
And the list goes on…
But how does the whole ‘our beliefs create our reality’ fit in here?
Are the above examples beliefs or are they something else? Are they only a part of the puzzle yet we’re focusing on them at the exclusivity of other parts?
And if we’re to consciously watch and create our beliefs how do we know which one’s will work (create reality) and which one’s won’t?
Talk about confusing!
For example, if I believe I’m going to fail an exam yet I get full marks. That’s hard to figure out. What’s going on? Why would that happen?
Contrast that with…I believe I’m going to deliver an excellent public speech and I do. That makes sense.
A change of perspective can solve everything
What if we 100% understood that the outcome we experience is generated by the mind/body energy we’re giving off. Full stop. That is the law. There are no exceptions.
If we’re getting A’s yet we think we’re going to fail, our mind/body energy/vibration is creating a situation where we’ll think we’re going to fail, but we’ll get A’s instead.
It’s a program that’s running…it’s an annoying program, but just the same, it’s quite reliable.
Perhaps we consciously or unconsciously believed that if we’re full of fear we’ll work harder to pass and if that fear was to disappear we surly would fail? Maybe we think that if we let our guard down and think we’re going to pass it will put the kibosh on our efforts?
When we were younger perhaps we had a pivotal experience where we didn’t study enough and failed. From that day forward we then increased our need to study AND increased our fear of failure. The whole mind/body blueprint that’s emitting the energy that creates reality is working perfectly – it’s just not working in a way that’s fun for the person that needs to feel fear.
It could be possible that when we got an A a parent said something like, ‘Don’t expect A’s all the time – even when you work really hard you might still fail.’ Or perhaps we were trying so hard to impress our parents that the fear of getting less than a perfect score drove us to irrational thinking…
Wanting to be perfect has it’s issues!
I’m sure you can see how this can happen. When you’re younger you want to impress your parents. You want to be perfect. You want to be a ‘good girl,’ or a ‘good boy.’ No one teaches us that failing is normal and that it’s a part of learning. We’re taught to avoid failure at all costs. We become terrified by the possibility of looking bad and it consumes our mind.
We project our fears in our mind and do everything we can to avoid them.
No matter what, your beliefs and subsequent feelings, thoughts, expectations, memories and visualizations create your reality. If you always put that in the forefront of your mind, you’ll ask yourself,
“Why would I create a situation where I thought I was going to fail but got A’s instead.”
By taking full responsibility for the outcome you can start to question yourself as to why your reality creation mechanism is working this particular way. Through contemplation it probably won’t take long to get some clues.
And the interesting thing about all this is that once you realize the ‘program’ or blueprint that’s running you can ask yourself, ‘Is my journey through life enjoyable this way? Do I want to feel this fear and get A’s? Or would I rather just get A’s and enjoy doing so?’
Work sucks, but that’s life
I have a perfect example of this kind of thing operating in my life. When I was a teen my dad told me that the business world was ‘dog-eat-dog.’ He painted a very dark picture and I believed him. I thought that work was something to be endured – something you had to do but wasn’t enjoyable. Everything was forced. I believed that work was a necessary evil to get money and boy, did I want money.
So – I had this blueprint in me that stated I’d be successful as long as I had to struggle. If I enjoyed what I was doing I felt guilty – I felt as if I was barking up the wrong tree.
It took me months of contemplation and doing the exercise I created in my book to break the spell. Once I left my job I found myself doing things I didn’t like and avoiding the things I love to do (like writing).
It was a program or blueprint running
Thankfully, I’ve been able to pull that blueprint and I’m now doing things I love for work and loving every moment of it. For me, it’s been a game changer.
So – when you have a positive life outcome (getting A’s) but you always believe the worst perhaps it’s time to work backwards and figure out how to change the blueprint? Who wants to live in fear if they don’t have to?
Kim Brown helps people to find their life’s purpose and exponentially increase their fulfillment. To get started read Kim’s book, ‘How Life Really Works: The Answer to Finding your Purpose & Personal Fulfillment’